Sunday, May 24, 2009
10 Reasons why Winnie the Pooh needs antidepressants
1. OK his name is doodoo
2. He is an emotional eater
3. He runs out of honey and has to steal it from the bees
4. The bees promptly attack him and christopher robin
5. A great wind comes and blooooows piglet away
6. The wind knocks down owls house
7. Eeyore. Dude cheer up you live in the 100 acre woods
8. Eeyore the jerk goes to find owl a new house only to find piglets house and says it is owl's. No one corrects him and piglet just cries and accepts that his lovely house was now owl's house just cause Eeyore said so. Fuck Eeyore he is not your landlord. Piglet moves in with Winnie the Pooh
9. Pooh goes to visit Rabbit who tries to act like he's not home. But Pooh is the wiser and goes to his house and eats all Rabbits honey. All of it. And then gets stuck in Rabbits front door. Rabbit has to look at Poohs butt for days. And has to clean up the poopoo.
10. A great rain floods the woods washing piglet away. He has to be rescued by Pooh.
And i didn't even get into Rabbits hatred of Tigger and his evil plan to desert bouncy Tigger in some strange woods because Tigger bounced him one too many times.